... AND HOW IT BRINGS YOU CLOSER TO WHAT YOU WANT
Photo by Drew Graham on Unsplash
When I have struggled with perfection it has always been as a response to outside stimuli, related to how I ‘should’ look, act, be, or what was expected of me.
The way I have changed this has become a staple in my coaching - embracing one’s own perfect. The five steps is a way to get back into conversation, or fine-tune the conversation with your intuitive self; the knowledge that you carry with you in your psychophysical system. It serves as priming for the bigger changes - an empowered way in.
This way we never have to chase perfection or dance to someone else’s tune (unless we want to). We can focus on progress without overburdening our system with the pressure of feeling like we have to live up to something already defined. We can be here and now, who we are, a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.
1. CATCH YOURSELF
Practice noticing what you are telling yourself in words and actions. What is the message/s behind your actions and what signals does it send to you and the world around you? If there are several messages - write them down and see if they can be summarized into one.
Here are some questions that can help coax out the messages;
What kind of situation, people or stimuli alerts you to think of the message?
Is it related to the way you look, feel, move, behave, or perform?
Is it related to where or who you want to be in the future?
How do you tend to respond?
What main emotion/s or feeling/s colours your response?
2. ASK WHAT AND WHY
What, if anything, do you want to change? About the way you look, feel, move, behave, or perform? And why?
If it isn’t obvious - ask many times until you get to the root of it. Make sure it really is something fuelled from within you, rather than something only fuelled by what someone else wants you to be or do. Sometimes our wants align with what someone else asks and expects of us, but pay attention to if any contradictions, confusing aspects or mixed messages come up for you, so that you can decipher what is true for you.
3. REVEAL PERFECTION
What is already perfect about you? And about the messages to yourself, about wanting something and why? Spend some time here if this is new to you. Actively learn about your psychophysical system so you can begin to embrace the fact that you are whole and perfect and how, in relation to what is going on.
4. RENEW YOUR WANT
Here you discern whether or not this change is something that you really want. Perhaps you have discovered that the initial want was not authentically yours or that a new one has come up through this process. Articulate it as clearly and specifically as you can.
5. MOVE TO CHANGE FEELING
In all change we desire, there is some kind of feeling connected to the outcome. Often we want to feel differently, to have a different experience - and the only way to get there is to actually move in a way that brings about that feeling we imagine. Now it is time to do exactly that.
Put yourself there - connect to that feeling, even if it is just for a moment, but see what you can do to keep connecting to that more and for longer. Whatever comes to mind for you is the right thing to do - whether it is cooking a nourishing meal, dance ecstatically or gently, sing your heart out or touch yourself. Even if it feels contrived to begin with or if you have to go through some emotional muck to even get there, the act of going there will cause change and bring about a different feeling.
Apart from connecting with your want this also serves as a letting go of anything you no longer desire.
Now that you have begun to embrace your perfect and probably have a clearer vision of what you want, from here you can start taking action and make any changes necessary in your life to move towards your want.
THE X FACTOR
“When you pray, move your feet”
Make sure that you pay attention to your whole system through each step of the process - it is not only an intellectual processing - it’s a full body experience. Each step needs to have an element of movement through you and out into the world. It needs to be expressed out loud in whatever way, shape or form that works for you - with your voice, your movement, actions, tasks, choice of art form; write, speak, sing, draw, build, dance it out.
When we express ourselves, whether it is to let go of something, or with the intent to create or solve something, it is part of our job as artists, and humans to continually stay present so that we may serve ourselves and the world in the best way we can. When our expressions are held in, held back, our ability to thrive and live a full life decreases.
Our thoughts, wishes, intentions, dreams and plans only moves us forward to whatever degree we are able to let go of what might be interfering with our natural coordination and take action to move forward. Embracing perfection means embracing that we are moving creatures of creation. We are here to learn and develop through built-in curiosity, creativity and spontaneity, which are results of our design when we function optimally.
This process will prime you for success in any challenge and allow you to become whatever you want to be next, solve whatever crux you need with minimum struggle and maximum outcome. This is how you engage your superpowers - use them at every turn of struggle, conflict and stress.
You are your own heroine - hear her (feel free to replace with your own pronoun).
You have all you need - reveal it.
Move and Be Moved.